Frequently Asked Questions About Healing And Growth
Healing FAQ: The Inner Fears and Questions Everyone Has About Healing
If you’ve ever wondered whether healing is really possible for you, you’re not alone. Almost everyone has quiet doubts—What if this is just who I am? How do I even start? What if I can’t handle it?
These questions don’t mean you’re failing. They’re a natural part of the healing process. In fact, naming them is the first step toward change.
This FAQ was created to gently answer those worries and offer small, doable steps you can try right away.
It’s just who I am.
It may feel that way, but what you’re really following are old scripts you learned growing up. They can feel so automatic that they seem like your true self, but they’re not. What you learned to do to survive your childhood isn’t the same as who you are. A big part of healing is unlearning the scripts so you can write new ones that feel better.
Try this: Next time you hear yourself say “that’s just the way I am,” pause and ask: Is this me, or is this an old script? Even that moment of noticing is change.
How do I even start?
The same way you start a long trip; by taking that first step. Healing doesn’t happen all at once. It starts with something small: noticing one feeling, writing one line in a journal, or pausing for one slow breath. Small steps build momentum.
Try this: Tonight, write down one word for how you feel. That’s a start.
It’s too much to deal with.
As a child, it was too much to deal with. But you’re not that child anymore. You’ve already handled losses, challenges, and responsibilities your younger self never could. You don’t have to do everything at once.
Try this: When overwhelm hits, tell yourself: I only need to take the next step, not the whole journey. Coaching can help you break it down into manageable pieces.
I keep getting into the same situations over and over again.
That’s not proof you’re broken. It’s proof the old scripts are still running. Awareness that you repeat patterns is actually progress. That’s you building self-awareness, which is the key to healing and changing. It gives you the power to pause and choose something new.
Try this: When you notice a familiar situation, say to yourself: This is the old pattern showing up. I have a choice. That pause is where change begins.
I self-sabotage too much.
What looks like sabotage now was once self-protection. Your brain figured out how to keep you safe as a kid, and it’s still trying. The problem is those strategies don’t serve you anymore. Naming them gives you space to change them.
Try this: When you catch yourself sabotaging, whisper: This was how I used to protect myself. That simple reframe shifts judgment into compassion and opens the door to change.
Does self-awareness even make a difference?
Yes, but not by overthinking. Self-awareness means noticing what’s happening inside you so you can respond instead of react. That shift changes everything.
Try this: Take 30 seconds once a day to check in: What am I feeling in my body right now? That’s self-awareness in action.
I should be over this by now.
That’s one of the cruelest thoughts we have. Healing has no timeline. It takes as long as it takes. The good news: you don’t have to wait until the end to feel relief. Every step brings some benefit.
Try this: When that thought arises, replace it with: Healing doesn’t run on a clock. I’m exactly where I need to be today.
Other people had it worse—who am I to complain?
Pain isn’t a competition. Your experience matters because it shaped you. Dismissing your pain doesn’t erase it, but honoring it allows healing.
Try this: When you minimize your pain, put your hand on your chest and say: My pain matters too.
I can’t change my past, so what’s the point?
You can’t change what happened, but you can change how it affects you today. That’s where your power lies. Healing is loosening the grip the past has on your present.
Try this: When the past feels heavy, remind yourself: I can’t change what happened, but I can change how I experience it.
Therapy/self-work hasn’t worked before, so it won’t now.
Healing isn’t linear. Sometimes it doesn’t click because the timing, tools, or support weren’t right. Trying again, with new experience, awareness and guidance, can make all the difference. Tring again offers a fresh way forward, with support designed to keep you moving so you don’t stay stuck.
Try this: Tell yourself: Just because it didn’t work before doesn’t mean it won’t now. Every attempt is another step on your journey.